Poker, Wright?
by Cravat of Doom
Summary: Phoenix and Kristoph engage in a little strip poker. Co-written with Sister to the Dark Lord. Rated T for themes.


Poker, Wright?

_A/N: What the hell are we doing? This is the product of having a tea party at one in the morning. And playing cards. All while on sugar high._

_No, we really don't think you want to know. We'll just present you with this lovely fic with minor Kristoph abuse._

_Oh, and before you go, this fic was co-authored by Snapefan21 and Sister to the Dark Lord._

_-_-_

The Email.

Oh, the Email.

What _was_ he thinking when he sent the Email?!

Kristoph Gavin sat in his office, head in his hands, staring at his computer. _Message Sent_ flashed across the screen.

He dreaded going home.

_-_-_

Phoenix Wright wasn't sure if he had read the message correctly. Kristoph ..... inviting him to his home? Perhaps he should read it again, just to make sure. Phoenix leaned over and, with a few clicks of the mouse, brought up his Email account. He clicked on the message from Kristoph. Yes, there it was, an invitation to Kristoph's home. Oh dear God.

Well, he might as well make the best of the situation. Phoenix picked up a deck of cards and made his way to the front door, whistling as he went.

_-_-_

Kristoph was a nervous wreck. Why did he invite that bumbling idiot to his home? Why?! The doorbell rang, and Kristoph jumped in his seat. His first instinct was to hide. But he didn't, instead, he went to greet his visitor.

"Hi, Kristoph!" Phoenix waltzed in the door, looking every inch truly happy to be there. Kristoph had to fight the urge to drop-kick the ex-attorney out the door. That, or spray him down with disinfectant. He didn't look clean. Perhaps both. That would be nice.

"Umm... Come in?" Kristoph asked, ignoring the fact that Phoenix had just let himself in. Ah well, at least he could pretend he had a courteous guest.

"Well, thank you very much, Kristoph! Nice place you've got here!" Phoenix seemed odder than normal, making Kristoph wonder if he had gotten drunk on the way here.

"Um ..... ah ......" Kristoph was at a loss for words.

"Hey! Let's play poker!" Phoenix looked absolutely thrilled at the idea.

"Poker, Wright?" Kristoph hated poker. He was terrible at it, and it didn't make it any better when he lost a client due to the horrid game.

"Oh, no, not just poker," Phoenix said, grinning madly and bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. "Strip poker!"

"No, Wright, just no," Kristoph sighed, this was a mistake. A very, very bad mistake.

Phoenix slipped his hand into Kristoph's and led him towards the dining room table. "C'mon, Kristoph, it'll be fun! You said you were bored."

"Not this bored," Kristoph muttered under his breath as he allowed Phoenix to drag him through his own house. "I'm going to regret this ....." On the way to the dining room, Kristoph managed to pick up a hat and put it on his head. He'd need protection, the way this was going. He knew how well Phoenix could play poker.

_-_-_

"Would you like a drink, Wright?" Kristoph asked from the kitchen as Phoenix shuffled the deck of cards he had brought in the dining room one room over.

"Sure, why not?" Phoenix replied. Kristoph allowed himself a vicious smirk as he leaned over to get a bottle of wine from the refrigerator. Kristoph knew that Phoenix had a low tolerance for alcohol, so if Kristoph could get him drunk, perhaps his playing skills would decrease as well.

Oh, how very wrong he was.

_-_-_

"Oh dear, Kristoph, it looks like you lost that one," Phoenix said, laughing as he laid out a flush to rival Kristoph's ace of spades. "Now you have to take something off!"

Kristoph stared.

"...No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes. Wait, what?"

Phoenix grinned stupidly at him.

Kristoph quickly scanned his body for something small and unrevealing to remove. He settled for a cufflink.

"Seriously?! You're no fun! I don't think that counts," Phoenix pouted.

But the little piece of metal was already on the table.

"Fine. But next time you're going to choose something more interesting!"

Kristoph shuddered to think what that may mean as he dealt the next round.

_-_-_

Some time later, Phoenix was still fully clothed and there was a small mountain on the table composed of Kristoph's cufflinks, ribbon, attorney's badge, shoelaces, shoes, and socks. His hat was perched precariously on top.

"You're out of little trinkets, Kristoph!" a slightly drunk Phoenix crowed. "And you lost this round!"

With great reluctance, Kristoph took off his prized periwinkle suit jacket, and laid it on the table. Phoenix whistled. "Now we're talking."

To his great displeasure, Kristoph blushed.

_-_-_

_Wow,_ Phoenix thought, _he really can't play at all._

But what could he do?

Phoenix grinned, causing Kristoph to look at him oddly and move his chair slightly farther away from him. _I know! I'll lose the next round, make him feel better. That ought to work._

_-_-_

The next round it was painfully obvious to Kristoph that Phoenix was trying to lose to him. Mind you, he still got around to depriving Kristoph of his vest before he could actually lose to poor Kristoph.

"Two pairs," Kristoph said as he spread his cards out on the table. Phoenix looked at him, seemingly upset as he laid out one pair. Kristoph decided he'd enroll Phoenix in a desperately needed acting class the first opportunity he got. Though he'd have to pay for it. Kristoph wanted new acquaintances.

Phoenix stood up. Kristoph looked at him warily. "Wright, what are you doing?"

"I lost," Phoenix said, "so now I have to take something off."

Kristoph turned his head away so he wouldn't be blinded by the hot pink colour of Phoenix's boxer shorts.

"You really couldn't have gone with white?" he asked.

"Nope!" Phoenix replied happily, popping the _p_. Kristoph sighed.

"Just sit down, Wright. It's your turn to deal."

Suddenly the phone rang. Kristoph made a move to get it, but Phoenix stopped him.

"We're busy," he said.

The answering machine clicked in to the sound of Klavier's voice, stating that he'd come to visit in a few minutes. Kristoph wanted to scream.

"No, Wright! He can't!"

Phoenix looked solemn.

"You're right. You'll probably be naked by then."

Kristoph hit his head against the table.

_-_-_

Klavier let himself in. "Hey, Krissi, how's my favourite bro – I'll just be going now." Klavier didn't even break his stride or his sentence as he walked in, saw Kristoph and Phoenix, and walked right back out the door. Kristoph was now shirtless.

Kristoph felt the need to cover himself with the table cloth, the way Phoenix was staring at him.

Phoenix let himself lose the next round, taking off his sweater. There was no shirt underneath. Kristoph looked away in disgust.

"I know it's not really a common practice for men to shave their chest, Wright, but..."

Phoenix looked at Kristoph, not getting the obvious hint.

Kristoph coughed to break the awkward silence. It was awkward for _him_, anyway. The cough seemed to bring Phoenix out of the daze he had slipped into when he looked at Kristoph, and Phoenix hurriedly started shuffling the cards. Kristoph stood up.

"It's late, Wright."

"Yeah, I know." Phoenix didn't move.

"I have work in the morning."

"Yeah, I know."

"Could you please leave?"

"I have nowhere to go. It's too dark to walk home."

"But what about Trucy?!"

"She's a big girl. She can take care of herself."

"She's only ten, Wright."

"Like I said, she's a big girl."

"...Should I be concerned?"

Phoenix looked up and flashed a suggestive smile. "Only if you want to be."

Kristoph didn't move. He felt like he was being harassed.

"Can I stay here for the night, Kristoph?"

Kristoph started gathering his things off the table. "I suppose you must. I'll prepare a guest room for you."

Phoenix felt envious. He didn't even have a room! The one bedroom went to Trucy, while he slept on the couch.

"Oh, I wouldn't want you to go to the trouble."

"Yes, I actually do want to go to the trouble."

"..... if you insist."

"I do."

"But not yet! We're not finished."

"I think we are." Kristoph only had his pants on now.

"But ..... but ......"

"Put the cards away, Wright." Kristoph gave Phoenix a glare that would kill a kitten.

Phoenix was unfazed. He threw the deck at Kristoph.

"Wright, you're not three."

Phoenix gave a very three-year-old-like pout.

"On second thought, forget I said that. Pick them up." Kristoph ran as fast as he could from the room. He would lock his door tonight.

_-_-_

Phoenix sullenly picked up the cards one by one. Why wouldn't Kristoph play? It had worked on Edgeworth. Just as Phoenix finished putting a rubber band around the fifty-two cards, Kristoph returned, wearing black silk pajamas. It set off his eyes quite nicely, Phoenix noticed absently. He bet that his month's income wouldn't pay for half of that silk.

"Your room is downstairs. If you've finished picking up the cards, I'll take you to it. Don't want you getting lost in my house." Not for the reason Phoenix thought, but because Kristoph was afraid that if Phoenix started wandering, who knows how many priceless objects he would break. Not to mention he _would _get lost.

Phoenix picked up his sweater and pants. "I've got the cards."

"Good." Kristoph turned. "This way."

_-_-_

Phoenix stared around at the spacious, luxurious room. "Thanks, Kristoph."

"Sure, Wright." Kristoph closed the door.

Phoenix waited until Kristoph's footsteps were faint, then slipped out of the room and followed him. He followed Kristoph to his room.

Kristoph turned around, and screamed.

"What the hell, Wright?! Why..." he stopped. He didn't actually want an answer.

Phoenix didn't give an answer, just pushed Kristoph up against the wall and kissed him. Kristoph was too shocked to move.

Kristoph finally came to his senses, and shoved Phoenix away. "Go back to your room, Wright," he growled.

Phoenix hung his head and trudged back to the room Kristoph had prepared for him, rejected and defeated.

Kristoph felt a sense of regret. He hit his head against the wall.

_-_-_

A few hours later, Kristoph padded silently down to the guest room where he had housed Phoenix. He quietly let himself in, and sat down on the bed. Phoenix groaned and rolled over, staring into Kristoph's blue eyes, unshielded by the lenses of his glasses.

"Kristoph?"

Kristoph smiled, a genuine smile, not the fake one he put on in court all day. "Hello, Phoenix."

Phoenix smiled and moved over to make room for Kristoph.

_-_-_

_**5 years later**_

Phoenix knew he had to do what he did. It was right. Killers shouldn't walk free. But that didn't mean he regretted his decision. When Kristoph was led away by the bailiff, Phoenix followed.

"Could I have a word with the prisoner, please?" he asked the bailiff politely. The bailiff grunted and moved off a ways, out of earshot, but close enough to keep an eye on Kristoph. Kristoph looked at Phoenix.

"I never really saw this coming, you know," Kristoph said quietly.

"I'm sorry. But even though I may not defend anymore, I'm still a lawyer at heart."

Kristoph said nothing.

"That doesn't mean I'll forget you. I'll think about you every time I play poker."

"I hate poker."

Phoenix grinned.

"No you don't." He pulled off Kristoph's cufflink.


End file.
